Domestic and Dating Violence
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS…
A pattern of behavior that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that frighten, intimidate, terrorize, manipulate, hurt, humiliate, blame, injure or wound someone.
Domestic violence can happen to anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender. It can happen to couples who are married, living together or who are dating. Domestic violence affects people of all socioeconomic backgrounds and education levels.
Some signs of an abusive relationship include:
- Exerting strict control (financial, social and/or appearance).
- Needing constant contact including excessive texts and calls.
- Emotional abuse including insulting a partner in front of other people.
- Extreme jealousy.
- Showing fear around a partner.
- Isolation from family and friends.
- Frequent canceling of plans at the last minute.
- Unexplained injuries or explanations that don’t quite add up.
DATING VIOLENCE IS…
A pattern of abusive behaviors used to exert power and control over a dating partner. Every relationship is different, but the one thing that is common to most abusive dating relationships is that the violence escalates over time and becomes more and more dangerous for the young victim. Any teen or young adult can experience violence, abuse or unhealthy behaviors in their dating relationships. A relationship may be serious or casual, monogamous or not, short-term or long-term. Dating abuse does not discriminate; it does not see gender, sexual identity, economic status, ethnicity or religious preference.
- 1 in 4 teens report being the victim of verbal, physical, emotional or sexual violence.
- Girls and women ages 16-24 are most likely to be abused in a dating relationship.
Things You Can Do:
- If you are in immediate danger, call 911 or the campus security.
- Trust your instincts. Don’t downplay the danger. If you feel unsafe, you probably are.
- Take threats seriously. Danger is often the highest when the abuser talks about suicide or murder, or when a victim tries to leave or end the relationship.
- Get help from a crisis hotline, domestic violence program, campus health or counseling center, or victim services agency. They can help you make a safety plan, give you information about laws in your state, refer you to other services, and weigh options such a seeking a protection order.
- Develop a safety plan for when you go to class, the dining or residence hall, your job- or other social situations. Involve friends and school staff, and keep a log of times the abuser contacts, threatens, follows, or harms you.
- Some types of abuse are crimes and you can file a report with the police. Campus judicial programs can provide sanctions for on-campus violations.
- Tell your friends, roommates, and others about the abuse and seek their support. Tell the security staff at school and at work. Ask them to watch out for you.
National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline (866) 331-9474
An Advocate is available 24-hours a day 7 days a week to speak with you and provide support. These services and support will be provided to you confidentially without judgment. Please contact us at (918) 732-7979. If you need assistance after hours, please contact Lighthorse Police at (918)732-7800 or (877) 547-3390 and ask to speak to the on-call Advocate.